LOS ANGELES

Here is Karathephantom’s Hiro she requested. I also managed to sneak it into the upcoming Mohinder Heroes comic.

Geek news is that I did another podcast interview with Paul from the 3Heroes podcast. We had a great chat about San Diego, Heroes and my upcoming Zero G. Paul is just getting better and better as an interviewer. I was so impressed. He can seamlessly direct the flow of an interview while still acknowledging the natural direction of the conversation. It’s a great skill to have.

The final stretch of our trip. Simbo and I were supposed to head to Mexico, but a combination of:

1. Simbo’s fear of any plane smaller than the Starship Enterprise.
2. A total lack of organization, planning or even knowing anything about Mexico. I think we learnt everything we knew about Mexico from Robert Rodriguez movies. We weren’t in the mood for mariachis, vampires or titty twisters.
3. Business meetings in LA for JAn and I.
4. Wanting to hang with Lauren and Chris.

So JAn, Simbo and I headed to LA instead. I needed to plan my future and Simbo desperately needed to shop. Ok, we both needed to shop. In a bout of metrosexuality, Simbo and I had both discovered our senses of fashion. Haircuts, shoes, clothes and accessories. All these things and more were on our list in our eternal mission to look like rock stars. JAn’s sage shopping advice as we shopped our way up and down Melrose avenue was a response to every third shop having a gorgeous aspiring model/actress, “You don’t need that. You’re only buying that because of her breasts.”

Later, assessing our purchases, there was a inversely proportionate ratio of cute retail chicks to clothing. Ie. The cuter the chick, the unhappier we were with our purchase.

In LA we stayed with Lauren (my editor) and Chris Moreno (my art director). Here’s another shot from the San Diego zoo. This time I’ve used my phat Potatoshop skills to label everyone.

Friday and Saturday night we decided to go clubbing. Here’s some lovely ladies who had all driven up from San Diego to come to Das Bunker – the longest running goth club in LA. It was an incredible venue and much fun was had.

JAn and I were chatting and he goes, “You’re going to turn around, say hi and introduce yourself to the people behind you.”

I freaked at the suggestion, but I did it. Tip: always chat to the guy first. Here’s the photo of them and JAn:

Speaking of that smoking section, I was out there because JAn is a cancer addict. So JAn and Simbo are chatting to the ladies from picture one, and I decide to sit down. I find myself on a bench with two more ladies. Before things could get awkward, and having found all new levels of extroversion I turned to the lady next to me, extended my hand and said, “G’day, my name’s Jason. How are you?”

She looks at my hand and goes, “Hi. I’m unavailable.”

I was shocked, “That is the most presumptuous crap anyone has ever said to me. I’m from Australia and I don’t know anyone here, and I’m just trying to make some friends and find some nice people to talk to. Guess I should keep looking.”

She looks at me and goes, “Whatever.” And gets up and leaves.

I look at the remaining girl on the bench who was sitting on Rude Girl’s far side. I was still shocked. The remaining girl watches Rude Girl go and says, “What a c**t.”

I was shocked. An American had used the c-bomb and a girl at that! She introduced herself as Edith and we had a great chat. I ran into her again the following night at Bar Sinister, another goth club. Again, we had a great chat and we still email. Hi Edith!

So on one hand American clubs rock. The venues are off the chart, and they have dancers and shows and all sorts of music playing in the one club. The bad? They stop serving alcohol at 130am, and kick everyone out before 3pm. In Melbourne, if you’re a hardcore clubber, you bring your sunglasses because the clubs go until dawn. Then you can probably find a recovery club and keep drinking and partying til lunchtime and beyond.

Having been kicked out so early we got up to our usual antics. We started riffling through our complimentary gift bags from the club. Inside we found little bottles of alcohol in each of them. We drank them all, then we started making friends with random strangers and drinking their little bottles. Then to the hilarity of other ejected clubbers we started kicking all the contents of the bags up and down the streets to each other Aussie Rules style. A post-punted ash tray slid near some dude and he asked JAn to, “Stop being an asshole or else…”

JAn picked up the ash tray and said, “Mate, we’re just f**king around having fun.”

The dude noticed that JAn wasn’t a small guy and started walking off really quickly. He turned and yelled over his shoulder, “Stop it, or you’re gonna get an asskicking.”

JAn watched the guy disappear down the street and was like, “Where? Over there?”

We started looking around for his ninja team, but he obviously left them in his other pants. So we went back to our frivolities and doing what we did best, making people laugh.

After JAn headed off to London, Simbo and I decided to do Universal studios. I saw a Serenity prop (I’m sure most people on the tour were like, “What the hell is Serenity?!”) and I geeked out.

Then I saw this awesome incredible Hulk. I was going through someone’s website and sketchbook the other day and saw sketches for this Hulk. I can’t for the life of me remember who did the design. But he’s huge!

Overall rating for Universal Studios: Over-rated, long queues, short rides and generally a waste of time.

Finally it was time for Simbo and I to leave. We had to buy an extra suitcase to carry all the clothes we bought. Karma paid us back for our cursed trip over. On the way back we had four seats to ourselves. As we left at midnight (and then after a 17 hour flight) and arrived in Melbourne at 7am, I decided to stay up as late as possible. I was the only one awake. I got chatting to all the (very cute New Zealander) stewardesses for ages. One asked me if she could get me anything. I mentioned that I was hungry (for those of you who know me, I have two biological states: hungry and asleep.). She ran off and came back with a huge plate with two first class meals on them. I was pretty happy.

Simbo and I had one goal back in Melbourne: to get a good coffee. Everywhere you go in America they have unlimited amounts of coffee that I wouldn’t pollute dishwater with. I’ve heard Melburnians go all over the world and still say that Melbourne has the best coffee. Sitting on Southbank overlooking the Yarra river with a latte, we had to agree.

Ok, that’s the last we’re going to hear of my trip and Simbo, Mitch and JAn. I’m back to daily blogging now. I’ve got heaps of prints, posters and convention sketches to post. Then my Mohinder story “Blackout” will be out and I can start chatting about that.

Here's Team Clusterf*ck on their Sausagefest tour 07. Not even Mitch's Spearmint Rhino tshirt could make this photo heterosexual.